we are all in the gutter...
In autumn, I followed you through the wooded grove a few blocks from my childhood home. I watched you as you knelt in the leaves to rinse your hands in that brownish greyish stream. We climbed over the rotting trunks of fallen trees, their branches haphazard as capillaries. We tore through yards of thorny brush and emerged almost bleeding. Our hands still smooth, still clean.
At times we were shoeless. At times we were scared, because it was dark and we had no flashlights. At times you had ventured too far ahead and were silent when I called your name.
At times my heart pounded with the growing fear that the whole world was one big forest that I would, for all of my life, follow you through. But it was worth it, to be lost and following you. Take me again. Show me your hands. I will still follow you.
"all of our mistakes - innumerable as stars"
i'm exausted and i really feel like writing. it's good to write really early in the morning when you are almost incoherent.
i feel happy. i feel like everything is just the way it is, and the way it is is just good enough.
symbolic interactionism
i haven't written in here in a while
partly because i was too lazy to make myself a google email address in order to experience the "new blogger!" which is actually exactly the same as the old blogger!
i don't feel like saying anything profound or insightful. life is fucking dull as hell, it's monotonous, and tedious, and exausting, but it is also really good and i love it because i'm alive and in it and all that junk.
and next week is spring break, and i'm just looking forward to being able to do what i want to do, when i want to do it (i.e. go to the gym for 2 hours a day, 7 days a week, get my literal gluteus maximus back into the shape it was in a month ago, read some books that aren't school books, sleep, go to diners, see my best friends, cook!, go to the city).
my mom left for italy today, and will be gone till next sunday. my dad leaves for arizona friday and will be gone till next saturday. :-)
