Thursday, May 31, 2007

brand new.

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face, the kind you'd find on someone that could save. If they don't put me away, it’ll be a miracle. Do you believe you're missing out? That everything good is happening somewhere else. With nobody in your bed, the night's hard to get through.

And I will die all alone. And when I arrive, I won’t know anyone.

Jesus Christ, I’m alone again. So what did you do those three days you were dead? 'Cause this problem is gonna last more than the weekend.

Jesus Christ, I’m not scared to die. I’m a little bit scared of what comes after. Do I get the gold chariot or do I float through the ceiling?

Or do I divide and pull apart? 'Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark. This ship went down in sight of land and at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you're coming in the night like a thief, but I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique. I know you think that I’m someone you can trust but I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to never give up. So do you think that we could work out a sign, so I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try?

I know you'll come for the people like me, but we all got wood and nails. We turn, turn out hate in factories. We all got wood and nails. We turn, turn out hate in factories. We all got wood and nails, and we sleep inside of this machine.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

meh.

i post a lot of shitty prose and poetry in here not because i don't want to share, but because i'm afraid of having the "better" stuff i've written stolen. yes, i'm that full of myself.

i want to do something drastic. like run away, or get another tattoo. i will probably just end up dying and cutting my hair... that sounds like such a good idea right now.

i applied for a summer internship through Montclair Editors and Writers, but no one has contacted me yet. it would be really great if i could get a job with a publishing company because, for one thing, i would enjoy it, and for another, my parents would stop nagging me. their suggestions are always so uninventive too. "why don't you work at starbucks? why don't you apply at whole foods? you know, barnes and noble is hiring." ew... i don't want to work for minimum wage for the most evil corporations of america. the ones that have commodified everything that i love! (good coffee, weird health/ethnic food, and literature/music/movies?)

i'm such a brat.

i have an 8-page paper due tomorrow and i haven't started it yet. haven't even really read any of the books that it is on. i've realized that i haven't had to work so hard this semester of college. despite the fact that the classes i am in are 300-level courses, each one really only requires me to write maybe two papers, and take two exams. i put all the work off till the very last minute, thus putting forth the least possible amount of effort... and i still manage to get an A.

the english major at rutgers is insubstantial in my opinion. there aren't enough course offerings in creative writing, and the major itself is not demanding enough.

i'm gonna try to write my paper now though.